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Trigger Warning: Drug & Alcohol Abuse & the Psyche behind DEFLECTION

The Psyche Behind Deflecting Personal Insecurities onto Others


In the realm of psychology, deflection is a defense mechanism where individuals project their own insecurities and problems onto others to avoid facing their issues. This behavior often manifests in name-calling and baseless accusations, reflecting more about the accuser than the accused.


A personal experience vividly illustrates this phenomenon. Recently, I faced unwarranted attacks from several homeschooling mothers who had previously sought my help with homeschooling. These women confided in me about their struggles with alcohol and drug addictions, as well as difficulties managing homeschooling due to their lifestyles. Despite my support and non-judgmental stance, they later turned against me, projecting their issues onto me.


One mother admitted she had a heroin addiction and struggled with it frequently. While I have never had any drug addiction and have never experimented with hard drugs, I provided a safe space for her to share her challenges. However, when these women realized I was aware of their deceitful behaviors towards each other and their kids, they started calling me a heroin addict. The irony is stark: the same women who confided in me about their heroin addictions now accuse me of the same based solely on my appearance. One even commented, "What else am I supposed to think? I mean, look at you, you're so skinny; obviously, I'm going to think you're a heroin addict." This accusation came from a woman who had admitted to struggling with heroin.


This behavior highlights a critical aspect of deflection: those who feel insecure about their shortcomings often try to transfer those negative traits onto others. By labeling me with their issues, these women attempt to alleviate their feelings of inadequacy. They see someone who is confident and secure in her self-worth and feel compelled to tear her down to feel better about themselves.


This deflection is not just about addiction. It extends to various areas where individuals feel insecure. In the homeschooling context, these mothers were struggling due to their personal issues, which they admitted included problems with alcohol and irresponsible behavior, such as driving drunk with their children. When confronted with someone successfully navigating the challenges they struggled with, their insecurities intensified, leading them to project their failings onto others.


Deflection is a defense mechanism that allows individuals to avoid confronting their flaws. It is easier to attack someone else than to face one's issues. This behavior can be incredibly damaging to the person being attacked, especially when the accusations are baseless and untrue. The psychological toll of repeated false accusations can erode one's spirit and self-esteem.


For anyone facing such attacks, it is crucial to remember that these accusations are not a reflection of you but of the accuser's internal struggles. Remind yourself of your truth and self-worth. Understand that the attackers project their insecurities and inadequacies onto you because they cannot handle seeing someone succeed where they fail.


Stay strong and do not take these attacks personally. Their behavior is entirely about them and not about you. By recognizing the psyche behind their actions, you can maintain your confidence and continue to thrive despite their attempts to bring you down. Remember, the more you shine, the more it will challenge those who live in shadows. Keep shining brightly.



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